ive always been me and nothing but ... I just find it so hard to talk people and well I say the the wrong shit and well im sorry.. at this point im just lost...
I mean, you haven't said much at all, it's hardly the "wrong shit". If you speak your peace, you may find yourself at peace. The first step is learning to not care if others do not receive you well.
As long as you're not being hurtful or phony you'll find that many may receive you quite well. Plus you have a level of anonymity here. You choose how much you wish to reveal.
You may feel lost, but here you are, trying to be found!
longarm69 said: ive always been me and nothing but ... I just find it so hard to talk people and well I say the the wrong shit and well im sorry.. at this point im just lost...
The first step to being found BY yourself is in learning to speak what YOUR beliefs are, and not to care too much if others agree, disagree, or are "offended" by your opinions. There is an old saying- "D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F." that applies here.
"Do I Look Like I Give A Fuck?"
As long as YOU can look yourself in the mirror each morning and believe that you have been honest with yourself and the world around you, whichever side of the fence you may find yourself on, then you owe no one any apology for who you are and what you believe is a big part of that. Once you make peace with that, the next step is figuring out exactly what that is for you, regardless of anyone or anything else trying to tell you what THEY demand you to accept as your belief because THEY need self-reinforcement of what they keep telling themselves that "everyone knows" and such.
Once you make peace with yourself as to who you are and what you believe, then the rest of the world may be worth listening to their opinions because you may learn something new in the process worth adjusting your own beliefs from, OR you may choose to dismiss their beliefs/opinions/demands as being fine for THEM (unless it takes away from YOUR freedom to choose differently) but not for you. Personally, ANY belief system that demands MY submission for them to be satisfied will automatically find them being disappointed, and usually hating me because I will NOT submit. I bend a knee to no man, woman, small child, household pet, politician, media talking head, presstitute, or religion other than my own beliefs which are only between me and my God to decide. Anything else is... irrelevant.
My personal suggestion, for whatever it is worth, is to find your own center and then build from there. You need no one's "approval" to do so, save your own and whatever deity you may choose if any- including my own. Then when you face the rest of the world, you do so from a position of quiet strength, and there is no awkwardness because you are in control of yourself and those who you find make you feel awkward no longer have any power to install that in you. Treat them like you want to be treated until they don't, and then dismiss their opinions about anything to do with you (or usually much of anything else).
longarm69 said: ive always been me and nothing but ... I just find it so hard to talk people and well I say the the wrong shit and well im sorry.. at this point im just lost...
Hi darlin, I remember all the times we used to chat in the chatroom, you never seemed to say the wrong thing or upset anyone, I am really sorry you are feeling bad, you don't deserve to at all and I wish all the best for you x
I won't pretend to know exactly what you're feeling but from reading your post there seems to be a lot of frustration and self-directed anger at having the intent of your words not matching the impact of whatever you said. These feelings are often the result of many conversations that end in a way you didn't intend and is expected when faced with so many results that feel incorrect.
Communication is a two way street and it takes 2 people to succeed or mess up in a convo. Maybe you had a brief case of foot in mouth syndrome, maybe the other person mis-judged your intent, maybe each of you were expecting different behavior in terms of etiquette, the possibilities are endless. Additionally some people are going to respond in the same way regardless of what you say. In those situations you can either move on or change yourself.
As long as you are a reasonable and respectful person who treats everyone as an individual befitting appreciation then you are doing all you can. (For example, opening with an explicit picture or proposition is a definitive no but a simple "hi" is generally acceptable). I've come to treasure the relationships (in and out of WAM) in which the other party responds genuinely in which the communication is balanced. One party having to beg and claw for attention isn't a healthy dynamic and will wear away at you at a certain point. From the replies in this thread you have people who appreciate and care for you, lean on them.
longarm69 said: ive always been me and nothing but ... I just find it so hard to talk people and well I say the the wrong shit and well im sorry.. at this point im just lost...
Hi darlin, I remember all the times we used to chat in the chatroom, you never seemed to say the wrong thing or upset anyone, I am really sorry you are feeling bad, you don't deserve to at all and I wish all the best for you x
ive always tried to be me.... and I miss not talking to you. and yes I do go over the top now and agin but its not done intentionally I just get lost in the moment....